• Tea Time with Kesst!

    Spill the seed and all the tea! ☕️

    Have you ever wanted to dig out Orc Mountain’s most scandalous secrets? Our favourite orc bestie Kesst is here to answer our questions with his new Orc Mountain gossip and advice column!

    Kesst was assisted in his answers by me and my fabulous friend L.E. Colombe, who just captured his voice so beautifully!

    To read even more of Kesst’s answers (or to ask him your own questions), please join us on Patreon! I’m so grateful to my Patreon supporters for bringing Kesst’s column to life with me! 🥰 

    (And please note spoilers for The Governess and the Orc and The Beauty and the Orcs!)


    Kesst, if you were to bring a third into your relationship with Efterar, who would it be?
    Oooh, excellent question, sweetheart! While I appreciate the unique beauty of all persuasions, I’ll admit that I do have a considerable weakness for big, scarred, well-proportioned orcs.

    That said, since I am an anxiously attached youngest child, the prospect of my own big, scarred, well-proportioned orc doting on anyone else makes me want to break out in hives. He’s already distracted enough by all those continually injured louts in the sickroom… so I’ll gladly keep the rest of his attention (and his seed) all for myself. 😉

    BESTIE!!! Tell me how you handled Cecily’s relationship with Sune and Timo. Did Eft or Geva have to put you and Rath in time-out?
    Asking the contentious questions! A sister after my own heart. Rath and I had the excellent plan of petitioning Grim to banish those grasping young pups. That was until Cecily unleashed her plaintive tears upon us. The sweetling learned her dramatics from the best, and despite our awareness that the demonstration of distress might be partly put-upon, the sight of her unhappiness stabs both of us straight through the heart. Gods be damned. So now we try to grimace and bear their relationship as best we can.

    Hi Kesst! Out of all your orc brothers’ relationships, which coupling do you deem most romantic?
    You must NEVER tell Ol’ Grim I said this, but I’d have to pick him and Jules. I know how much he longed for a woman, and how deeply he grieved over the rubbish choices he had to make amidst all that mess with Jule’s horrid husband. Grim never dreamt she’d take him back again, let alone go on to become the friend, partner, and co-conspirator he never knew he needed. Finding someone to scheme with is the best kind of Ash-Kai love story, don’t you think?

    How do you keep your hair looking so fabulous and healthy?
    I apply vinegar rinses to keep things shiny, then suck up as many sloppy servings of Eft’s own special concoction as I can swallow for maintaining lustre and volume. 😏

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